Watching my Mom sleep is something I'm not getting tired of. I keep watching her wondering how many more days I will be able to just sit, hold her hand and love looking at her.
On Tuesday we passed 4 weeks already since her diagnosis of only having 4-6 weeks left. She has been steadily declining. It's really hard to see this strong muscular women shrivel down to just skin and bones. Last year at this time she was carrying bags of mulch and planting flowers in her yard. Of course I didn't allow her to do this, but she would sneak over to Lowes and do it anyway. "Stubborn" has always been my Mom's middle name, no matter what you told her she couldn't do, it made her want to do it more than ever!
Yesterday we moved Mom over to the Hospice House in Sun City. She was getting up at night to go to the bathroom and falling. We had it worked out that she would call my cell phone when she needed to go and I would wake and take her. But the last few days she didn't have enough strength to even press the 2 numbers on the phone so "Stubborn" as she still is, she would just try and get up on her own and we would find her on the floor. The last time she hit the foot board on the bed and bruised herself up.
The next day the visiting nurse she said it was time to move her over to the Hospice House. When my Mom was first put under Hospice care 4 weeks ago, I discussed with her nurse that I didn't want my Mom to pass away at home. But I wanted to keep her home with me as long as possible. She told me she would monitor her and let me know when it was time to move her. When she told me yesterday it was time for the move I was so upset but they made everything very easy and moved her by non-emergency ambulance.
This morning I decided to go to work at ECHO since I haven't been able to get there for awhile. On my way at 8:30am Hospice called me and said my Mom was being very combative and wouldn't eat, drink or take her medications until I came and took her home. So I turned around and went straight there. Yes my Mom was living up to her middle name again! But I got her to calm down and take the meds, etc. We've had someone with her all day and she slept pretty much the whole time. I'm sitting here now wondering if I should go home or spend the night here with her. I don't want her to get upset in the morning again. Who knows, maybe if she is "stubborn" enough she might just be coming back home with me tomorrow.
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2 comments:
My heart goes to you. In my family, we like to say we carry the 'do opposite' gene - our own version of the stubborn streak. It also traces to my mother. So I hear ya.
I went through this with my Mom.My sister and I kept her home and took care of her, but it got really hard towards the end. If she is still concious, you should spend as much time with her as you can, but still take care of your life (i.e. work) Don't feel guilty about that. Your hospice people will be able to tell you when the end is near. I was actually the only one there at the end and I was really glad I was there. Although I have to say my Mom wasn't leaving us as long as there were visitors around. Hang in there and try to reach peace within yourself as you go through this. My prayers are with you...
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